Tug: The Potions Master Strikes Back
by Emerald-Leaves
Summary: Just a piece of random fun. Sort of a parady to "Tug" my other story. Use of direct Star Wars quotes and theme.


**Tug:**

**The Potions Master Strikes Back or The Return of the Boy Who Lived**

**Author's Note: **Just a piece of random fun about what would happen if Snape had been the one to tell Harry that he was his father in _Tug_. Written in response to Taryn's Star Wars challenge from Potions and Snitches. This is just written by an insane author and is not cannon to my non-cannon fic. (Did that even make sense?) Thanks to J.K Rowling and George Lucas. (Gotta love those two!)

Warning: Direct Star Wars reference in this story. Follows the most famous Star Wars scenes ever, the infamous, "No, _I _am your father" from E_mpire Strikes Back._

___*******_

Snape waited for Harry to come out of the doctor's office impatiently. He was so nervous he was sweating. How much would the boy remember? Would Harry remember when Snape threatened to flush him down the toilet the first day, when he'd found the boy? Would Harry remember all the times Severus changed his nappie? Or the night Severus had been so tired that he actually _cried_ and had even had thoughts about shaking the baby? Would the boy remember all the pranks that Snape had done?

Trying very hard not to give into his rising panic, Severus took several deep breaths and occluded his mind. Harry would be very confused and troubled at this point in his life. He needed Snape…his father, to be stable, to be his rock. Straightening his robes, the Potions Master vowed to be calm and collected. He was given the task to inform the boy about all of these events and he would do so with a cool, level head and patience.

A few minutes later, Harry came out of the examining room, looking a little shaken. The boy blanched when he saw the towering, black figure of his Potions professor waiting for him. What was Snape doing here and why did Harry suddenly have a bad feeling about all this?

"Harry," Severus nodded his head, trying to be casual, but coming off a little intimidating. "We need to talk."

Had Snape just called him by his first name? Harry stood looking at the Potions Master for a moment with wide green eyes. What was going on here? Was this really Severus Snape or was this some kind of imposter? Harry had not expected to see his Potions professor when he'd walked out of the examining room, and after he did, he had expected the man to be angry and impatient…but that was not the case.

Not knowing what else to do, Harry merely nodded and waited for the temperamental wizard to start talking, probably to lecture him about brewing potions in the lavatory or something like that. After all, Harry could not see Snape liking people brewing in the lavatory too much. _But at least I didn't brew it _in _the loo, _he thought a bit defensively.

"Excuse me," Snape stopped one of the nurses, who happened to be a man. "Is there somewhere where we may speak privately?"

"Sure, thing Professor Snape," the male nurse nodded, his eyes as big as saucers. He couldn't believe that he was in the same room as both Harry Potter _and _Severus Snape. "Right through here."

The nurse pulling on the door to open it, but it did not budge. He turned and smiled sheepishly at the two wizards behind him before he tried again. It did not work. Becoming frustrated, the man began pulling harder and harder until he became red in the face. Why wouldn't the damned thing open? Doors were _not _new inventions, he should be able to open it!

"Hey!" called a doctor from behind. "Use the force, Luke!"

"Huh?" Luke the Nurse raised an eyebrow.

"He means _push_, imbecile," Snape muttered the last part under his breath. As if he wasn't nervous enough, now he had to deal with idiots! This was going to be a _great _day, he thought sarcastically.

Blushing furiously, Luke the Nurse gave a light push on the door and _magically _it opened up. He stepped aside in shame to let the two famous wizards go through. Snape blew past the rather pathetic nurse like he was a rat on the street, while Harry took a good look at the sandy blonde haired man and felt a little bit sorry that he'd been totally humiliated. As he was walking by, Harry thought he heard the nurse mutter something that sounded suspiciously like, "I hope Uncle Owen doesn't hear about this," before Luke the Nurse walked away.

Snape wasted no time, and the moment the door was closed, and it was just the two of them, he looked the boy over. "Sit," he said. It came out sounding more like a command, and so Harry believed that once again he was in trouble or something. Why hadn't Dumbledore come for him instead of the Potions Master?

Becoming a little scared, Harry looked at the closed doors in a bit of alarm. "Um…could we open the doors, sir?"

Knowing that the child was having thoughts of flight, the wizard shook his head. "No. It is useless to resist this meeting," he said sternly. Harry merely looked down at his folded hands.

"You have not been alerted as to what happened to you yet, have you?" Snape went on, raising a dark, questioning eyebrow.

"They told me enough," Harry shrugged. "They told me that I was de-aged from a potions experiment."

Frowning at the boy's cool manner, Severus unfortunately concluded that the boy did not remember what had happened or any of the events that followed. "I see," the professor nodded. "And were you informed as to who watched over you while you were a child?"

Not liking the conversation, Harry could not get over the sickening feeling he had in his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this. Surely the Potions Master knew everything that had happened. Why was he asking Harry all of these questions? Why couldn't the man just explain everything that had happened and then let Harry go back to Hogwarts to his friends?

"Uh…no, sir, they did not," Harry frowned, having not thought about that. "Who did, sir?"

Looking into Lily's beautiful eyes, Severus steeled himself for the onslaught he was sure to face. The boy wanted all the answers? That was fine. Severus would be pleased to give him _all _the answers. The only question was, would the boy _like _the answers that were given?

"I did," Snape said, his voice sounding a bit mechanical.

"You?" Harry's eyes popped open and his mouth fell slightly ajar. "Why?"

"Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father," Severus looked down at the boy intently. Harry needed to know this sooner or later and Severus was getting rather nervous, and did not know if he'd be able to tell the boy later. It was better to just get it said and over with.

Confused beyond reason now, Harry frowned. "He told me," he said carefully. "He said that Lord Voldemort killed my father and my mother."

"No, Harry," Severus shook his head. "_I _am your father."

There was a pregnant pause as both wizards simply sat staring at each other. The black eyes met the green and neither one could actually believe that had just been declared. Severus found it rather odd that he should say such a thing to the face of James Potter while Harry was just confused as hell, to put it bluntly. What _was _Snape on?!

"No," Harry shook his head disbelievingly. He felt ill, and yet as he looked into the Potions Master's eyes, he saw no falsehood or insanity in them. "No, that's not true. That's _impossible!_"

Becoming frustrated, Severus felt himself panicking again. "Search your feelings, you know it to be true," the Potions Master said sternly. He knew the boy knew, but he wanted Harry to believe it. Severus really did not know what he would do if the boy refused to accept the truth. Besides, he had to get the boy back to Hogwarts soon before the Headmaster came and decided to talk to Harry in his…less than tactful manner.

"No!" Harry shouted, burring his face in his hands. "No," he muttered, all the time knowing it was true, as flashes of the infant memories arose in his mind and he could see Snape caring for him.

"Harry, I know that this is a shock, but there is no reason to fear. Your destiny of destroying the Dark Lord is no more. _I _killed him. But perhaps I should explain this later in a safer location," Snape said as he spied Luke the Nurse peeking in through the windows before he ducked back down. "Come. Let us return to Hogwarts now…as father and son."

The boy looked around wildly as though he were a trapped animal. His face was sheet white and he had broken out in a cold sweat. Harry's breathing also started to race and he could not think of what to do. This was just too bizarre. Snape, his father? It was impossible! And yet now when he looked at the Potions Master he felt undeniable safer…almost calm…well, except for at that earth shattering minute, of course.

"Come with me," Severus said again walking to the door but noticing the boy looking for another exit. "This is the only way," he frowned. Couldn't the boy see that?

But no, Harry could not see that, as he had promptly fainted into an unconscious stupor.

That had not gone at all liked planned. Snape's shoulders sagged in frustrated failure. "Bugger."

**The End.**

'**Nother Author's Note: **...yeah...so, I was working on the next chappie of WOWL and got a bit of writers block for the beginning and thought I'd play around on the internet and ended up on P&S (like always) and looked through a few challenges and yeah...this is the result of that. I believe I've gone insane, but it's been fun! XD

Hope you enjoyed this. And keep in mind, this is supposed to be a bit outrageous and silly. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked my insanity! As always, reviews would be very much welcomed, and may the Force be with you all!


End file.
